Everything Happens For a Reason...

"Everything happens for a reason." Do you believe that?

I do... BUT I believe we can only understand why in hindsight. It is only long after the fact, maybe sometimes years or even decades, before we are able to understand why something may of happened.

It can be easy to get frustrated, sad, angry, mad, upset, etc. over many things in our life, whether big or small. These types of emotions that arise from our experiences create stories in our minds, in which we play the victim, we are the suffers, and something bad has happened to us. Overtime, if we continue to dwell on this story we've created, it can become embellished or exaggerated to seem like a much bigger deal, or much worse then it really was.

It is my belief in the philosophy "everything happens for a reason", that allows me to let go of many of these emotions. I choose to focus on the fact that everything is trying to teach us something, we just have to figure out what it is. 

Less than an hour ago I was at the gym and when I wasn't paying attention someone took my headphones (by accident or on purpose is really irrelevant), what matters was my reaction. As soon as I realized I didn't have them, it triggered me. I felt anxious, confused, frustrated, and fearful.

I retraced my steps, checked with the gym staff and left my contact information in case anyone turned them in. I did all the right things. Then, as soon as I took a second to slow down, the story began in my mind. As I replayed the events over and over again, my narrative became clearer and clearer, with me as the victim, having to now spend money to go get new headphones.

I took some deep breaths and stopped the story from spinning in my mind. Instead, I changed my self-talk to sound like, "It's going to be okay, it is not the end of the world, it is a material object with no sentimental value to you, it is replaceable, release your attachment". I took another deep breath, "what can I learn from this? I need to be more aware of my surroundings, place things in my bag right away not on the bench, double check you have everything with you". I said these things with an understanding that would allow me to be better next time, not to shame myself or make me feel guilty. It is all about learning. Who knows, maybe in a few days, months or years, me losing my headphones will have triggered a sequence of events to happen that ultimately will have some positive effect on me and my life. The truth is, we won't know, and we may never know, but I'm not going to allow it to wreck this day, in this moment. 

The most important thing to realize is that yes it happened, yes it's not great, but I can choose to let it affect my whole day, or I can choose to move on. I choose too move on, I choose to refuse to let it bring me down for more than a few minutes. By staying in the story of the victim, we stay in those emotions that weigh us down and keep us trapped in the past. Start looking forward, because this is the only moment that matters now.

You can't change what happened...and everything happens for a reason.

Xo, Christina

Christina DeFranco