About Me

I began my journey in 2016,be.png

My Story

My journey begins in young childhood, when you could easily identify my people-pleasing tendencies. I am a Highly Sensitive Person who FEELS EVERYTHING, and I never wanted anyone to be upset. Even as a young child I remember writing my mom "I'm Sorry" notes and sliding them under her bedroom door when she was mad at my older sister (I wasn't even in trouble!). I was so upset that my mom was upset that I would cry and write her a card or draw her a picture to try and make her feel better.

I always put others first, and agreed to help with anything. Little did I know that I was really saying 'yes' because it gave me a sense of purpose, and feeling needed was how Imeasured my self worth. It wasn't until my late teens that I realized my validation needed to come from me, not my external environment and what others thought of me.

My constant helping led to an extreme imbalance in my life. I never had time for me, I was always on-the-go, and never took time to slow down. My incessant busyness allowed me to avoid dealing with all of the uncomfortable emotions I was feeling from traumatic deaths, relationships, guilt, and much more. In a matter of months I burnt out. You would have found me curled up in bed, unable to move, unmotivated, and lifeless. The girl who was once capable of "doing it all" was finding it hard to even breathe. I had spiraled into depression. Thankfully, I was surrounding by an incredibly supportive family that was able to pick me up and get me the help I needed. This experience taught me that I needed to slow down; I had to learn to feel my emotions or my mental health would suffer. Luckily, my mom introduced me to Yoga, which quickly became a safe space where I could process my emotions through movement and meditation. This doorway allowed me to discover my true passion in life, and was one of the most pivotal moments in my journey.

Prior to finding my path, I was convinced athletics was my calling. I had been an Elite Athlete my whole life, and I was obsessed with fitness (at one point, I was UNHEALTHILY obsessed). Being an athlete was my WHOLE identity at the time, and I had never known anything other than sports. This is the point in my journey where I uncovered this HUGE story I had created. I had built this story of being an athlete and having to work my butt off to get a university scholarship. I felt that I owed it to my parents to earn a scholarship to repay them for all the money and time they had invested in my sports. Never once did they pressure me or make me feel bad for the energy they dedicated to my passion for sports, but I believed this story that I was a BURDEN to my family and this was the only way to make them see it was all worth it. I ended up getting my scholarship, but after my first year playing I had become depressed and miserable. It was an extremely toxic environment and was detrimental to my mental health. At the end of the first year I was dreading going back. I knew it was tearing me apart, and my family could see it too. Although my parents told me I should leave the team, that would mean giving up the scholarship and I just couldn’t do that...I couldn't let my family down. It took me MANY months and several difficult discussions to break through this story I had created around sports. I finally decided to leave the team and lose my scholarship, and it was the best thing I ever did.

Along with losing my scholarship, I lost my identity as an athlete (which was all I had ever known). I was forced to find myself from scratch. I felt lost. This is when the anxiety began to hit me hard. Throughout all this time I had continuously been struggling with severe anxiety and the occasional panic attack. I had been formally diagnosed with a General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) when I was 16 years old, but I had experienced anxiety since I was a kid. As I headed to University for second year - stripped of my red Varsity jacket - I would suffer from anxiety attacks every day on the bus to school. I felt nauseous and sick to my stomach, my legs would shake and my heart would race. I went through breathing technique after breathing technique, each day a different one managing to help me. Once I got to school, I felt completely overwhelmed in a class full of 500 other students; and walking through the overly populated halls made it difficult to breathe.I forced myself to struggle through most days, but sometimes it would become too much. This inevitably led to a panic attack and having to bus home early. Slowly I built strategies to help me cope, and was able to survive. As I continued to find myself through Yoga I also discovered my passion for helping people and slowly opened myself up to new opportunities. I became a Peer Mentor for the Mental Health Department at my school and was then promoted to Senior Peer Mentor. I immersed myself in helping share my strategies with other students who were going through similar feelings of anxiety and depression. It was there that I learned how to thrive, not just survive.

Today I am happier and healthier than I have ever been, and I am more in-touch with myself than I ever thought was possible. I have a clear sense of purpose, I LOVE what I do, and I have finally found a beautiful balance in my life. I have a MASSIVE toolkit of techniques and strategies I use when times get hard and anxiety arises in my body. Anxiety never leaves you, but you can learn to cope with it and not let it control you. I feel empowered and motivated to share my story and help others heal so they can lead the life they want to live.